For Henry Slade, there was nothing unusual about his daily routine he had undertaken since childhood. Looking back, however, the England rugby union international now knows there were signs of something he needed to address.
Speaking to Sky Sports News as part of the Real Talk series, Slade opened up on how he came to realise he had obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and how speaking to some of his Exeter Chiefs team-mates led to him getting treatment.
Now aged 31, the Gallagher Premiership and European Champions Cup-winning centre acknowledges the impact the routines he had developed were impacting on his life, driven by a fear of what would happen to either him or those closest to him if he did not perform them.
“Throughout my whole childhood I would have to do certain things to feel okay or to feel safe, or for my friends, family and loved ones, to have peace of mind nothing bad was going to happen,” Slade told Sky Sports News.
“There would always be so many different things I’d have to do, sort of like a checklist. I never really spoke with it about anyone else, I just thought it was something you do.
“It wasn’t until I mentioned it to a couple of people when I was playing at Exeter Chiefs and they said, ‘yeah, that a bit weird – you shouldn’t be doing that’.
“I was spending so much of my day worrying about a certain way I was doing everything. It would take up so much of your day, add extra stress and extra worry to your life.”
Tasks Slade had to perform included switching a light switch off what he considered to be the ‘right’ way, having to repeat it if he got it wrong, and a bedtime routine which took him nearly an hour before he could go to bed.
His OCD habits became part of his rugby life as well, such as having to get changed in a certain way and having to do lace up his boots in a particular manner as well – and suffering a serious injury after not doing so for one game set back his progress while he was trying to break those routines.
“It was so ingrained in my life it naturally progressed into my rugby,” Slade said. “The main part of where I feel it is getting changed for a game; I had a very specific way I had to tie my laces, certain times I had to tie the loops and pull the shoelaces, how tight I pulled it and things like that.
“The first time I ever tried to tie them normally, I messed up on what I had normally done and thought, ‘it will be fine, don’t worry about it’. In that game, I broke my leg and that didn’t help, obviously.
Please use Chrome browser for a more accessible video player
Introducing Sky Sports’ new series ‘Real Talk’ in which athletes share their inspirational stories on issues of health, mental wellbeing and personal safety
“I’d done it in the week in training to see if it would be fine and I was fine during the week, and I thought in the game it would be fine in the game and I broke my leg.
“That’s one of the worst injuries I’ve ever had. It wasn’t ideal and it definitely knocked the confidence with it for a while and threw me back a few steps.”
Slade was able to get help with his OCD by talking to a visiting psychologist at Exeter and is in no doubt just being open about the issues he was having to confront helped him begin his road to recovery.
But he encouraged anyone suffering with the same issues to speak to anyone close to them about their concerns and to be reassured that others are affected as well.
Opening up helped Slade in trying to overcome OCD
“The first thing I’d say is don’t be afraid,” Slade said. “If you leave it and keep going with it, it’s probably going to escalate and get worse.
“The old saying is a problem shared is a problem halved. As soon as I opened up a little bit and got a little bit of help, I was able to help myself more than anything.
“Even if it’s not a psychologist, whether you open up to your mate or your mum or your brother, they will be able to have a different perspective on what you’re seeing and maybe point you in a direction where you start improving and get better with it.”
Follow Real Talk on Sky Sports News’ digital and social channels and watch the extended interviews on Sky Sports News, YouTube and on demand.
You can also download the podcast on Spotify and Apple, where you can listen to all the interviews and take a closer look at the meaningful conversations with an expert who helps give us a better understanding of these topics, while offering support and guidance.
