Posted on: February 29, 2024, 02:44h.
Last updated on: February 29, 2024, 02:54h.
An anonymous Arizona-based social media personality who uses the alias “Clue Heywood” has just completed the ultimate “dirtbag adventure.”
Last weekend, Heywood, with his accomplice, the author and journalist Tom Zoellner, visited all 26 tribal casinos in Arizona within 48 hours, placed a bet in each, and tweeted about it the whole time.
To anyone’s knowledge, it had never been done before, or even attempted. What’s more, Heywood even turned a profit.
Heywood and Zoellner began their odyssey at We-Ko-Pa Casino in Ft. McDowell and ended up 47.5 hours later at the Desert Diamond West Valley in Glendale. They traveled 1,637 miles, at times across inhospitable terrain. With just five hours sleep, they completed their deranged Cannonball Run with half an hour left on the clock.
But why? No one is really sure, not least of all Heywood and his “co-pilot.”
“I have no idea what we accomplished here, but it feels good,” Heywood said afterward.
Who is Clue Heywood?
Heywood has made a (fake) name for himself on the X platform for his wry take on life, local politics, and dive bars in Arizona, as well as for his engaging habit of lampooning the out-of-touch advertising campaigns of Peleton stationary bikes.
There are few clues to his identity, other than that he appears to be a 40-something Pheonix-based attorney.
Suddenly the image of a writer and his attorney driving through the desert on a Gonzo adventure in search of strange casino experiences rings a bell. And they certainly tapped into some real Fear and Loathing, according to Heywood.
At casino number 23, the Apache Sky in Winkleman, he tweeted:
“I can’t do this anymore. I have nothing original to say. This quest has darkened my soul and taken the life from my eyes. Just three more to go.”
Joke Backfires
Six weeks ago, Heywood tweeted to his X followers that he was “bored again.”
“Maybe next weekend I’ll try to visit all 27 Indian casinos in Arizona in a 48-hour span,” he added.
He later clarified this was a joke, but it was one of those jokes that somehow builds up enough momentum to turn into real life.
The rules of the mission were simple. At least one bet would be placed at each casino. All food would be bought at casinos. The small amount of sleep the schedule permitted would occur at casino hotels. No drinking and driving.
So, what did we learn?
Heywood’s favorite casino was the Twin Arrows Navajo Casino, which was “more refined and quieter” than others, with friendly staff and tasteful décor.
The red chili beef burrito at Desert Diamond Casino in Tucson is top-notch.
The worst casino? Heywood described, but declined to name, his least favorite casino experience, although many of his X followers have figured it out.
Worst Casino in Arizona
“There was definitely a standout ‘worst casino in Arizona’ last weekend,” he said. “Broken slots, zero security, a bunch of detritus laying around, and a broken-down 2003 GMC Envoy with the hood up and guys working on it at the main entrance.”
Heywood also mentioned that the table games were closed at 1 a.m. on a Saturday night, and there was “even someone vacuuming, just for emphasis, and also comedic value.”
Meanwhile, at the Casino of the Sun, the modest slots-only sister property to the massive Casino del Sol in Tucson, the travelers experienced the lingering aftermath of a cyberattack, as recently reported by Casino.org.
“Their entire networks were down, so the security guard says, ‘you can play, but we won’t be able to pay you,’ which is the most honesty ever from a casino,” Heywood noted.
Up $1,500
In terms of gambling, Heywood was running badly until a jackpot at the Yavapai Casino in Prescott propelled him into the black, where he finished, about $500 up. A separate gambling fund donated by X users also came out ahead, raising just over $1,000 for children’s charities.
Despite his modest good fortune, Heywood will be giving Arizona’s tribal casinos a wide berth for a while.
“The thought of walking into a casino kinda disgusts me right now,” he tweeted. “Feels like my dad caught me smoking a casino, and as punishment, he made me sit in the garage and smoke an entire pack of 26.”
